Putting the kids to bed is the time of the day. Many parents love and dread in equal measures. Love because they get their ‘us’ time; hate because kids don’t want to sleep! All that energy, all that zest for life… and they don’t understand how essential sleep is for them (or for us!). They stall. They try to negotiate. Anything to steal a few more precious moments of awake time, but at the end of the day, they’ve still got to go to bed.
Parents across the world go through this, so know that you’re not alone in any struggles to get your children off to bed and to sleep. You don’t have to struggle anymore, though. This guide is here to help. It’s the Bedstar Ultimate Guide to Getting Your Children to Sleep.
Studies into children’s sleeping patterns have highlighted the importance of sleep for children, particularly in newborns, and the direct impact that sleep has on their mental and physical development. By the age of two years, a child will have spent more time during their life asleep than awake whilst on average, around 40% of a person’s childhood is spent asleep.
Sleep is such an important factor in a child’s development, and it is important to create an environment in which your child can get a good night’s sleep.
Bedstar provides a range of kid’s beds that are ideal for helping your child get a good night’s sleep. The right children’s bed is an integral part of creating an environment that will encourage your child to sleep, with the child’s bed being the centrepiece to any kid’s bedroom.
TV and DVD players in a bedroom can harm a child’s sleep, and it is important to try and make the bedroom as relaxing as possible. Keep the room at a stable temperature all night long and block out as much outside light as possible. Even something like attaching mobiles to children’s beds at night could keep them awake.
When it’s time to put your child in bed, get into a bedtime routine.
A light snack, a bath, and brushing their teeth all useful steps for getting your child ready for bed and sitting next to your kid’s beds and reading a book or story to your child can be a great way to help them relax and naturally fall to sleep.
Once your child is asleep, try to stay away from their bed as much as you can. We know that it’s natural to rush straight to your kid’s bed as soon as they start to cry or as soon as they wake up, but this isn’t always the right action to take. Unless it is a serious issue such as sickness or falling, leaving the child to fall back to sleep can help them develop a natural sleep pattern and give them the message that they should go to sleep on their own.
Keeping the area around your child’s bed simple and relaxing whilst introducing a simple and effective routine can really make the difference in ensuring that your child gets a good night’s sleep
Why your child isn’t sleeping enough
When a child won’t go to bed or doesn’t seem to be getting the sleep they need, please don’t jump to the conclusion they’re refusing to play ball. There may be other reasons why they’re not in a hurry to retire to that cosy bedroom you’ve decorated and furnished for them or, once they’re in there, for them still having issues with sleep:
Children don’t always tell us everything. Sometimes they leave it up to us to guess if something is bothering them. They may be being bullied at school or online (or even worse, both). Things at school such as tests, homework, or a struggle to make new friends at school could be causing them anxiety. If one parent works away, they may be missing them. The child(ren) may have become anxious because of something they’ve seen on TV or heard in a story. If they’re not sleeping well or not willing to go to bed, don’t assume they’re rebellious.
The child wants to be part of the excitement
This one is self-explanatory. It’s a rare child that doesn’t want to join in all the fun. If everyone else is staying up and watching a movie or something terrific on TV, your child won’t want to miss out. If they feel as if they are, they might dig their heels in when it comes to bedtime.
Too much homework and/or extracurricular activities making the child overtired
Kids go to sports clubs, play with friends after school and do homework, which tires them out. You need to manage your children’s activities outside of school, especially if they’re staying up past their bedtime to complete homework. Have a chat with their teacher if necessary.
Sometimes they sleep too little. Does your child have a nap after school, for instance? Change their routine. Make them do their homework earlier and prepare their meals earlier so you can get them to bed sooner. At weekends, ensure they’re active during the day so that they sleep easier at night.
The transition to bedtime is too short
Like everyone else, kids need their downtime and to be relaxed before going to bed. If you’re playing games, watching a movie, or doing some other activity that gets the kids excited right before bedtime, you’ll have to calm them down before you put them to bed. Sending them to bed straight afterward won’t work. Schedule some quiet time between the activity and their bedtime so that they settle into sleep easier.
The child is asserting themselves
As kids grow up, they like to assert their independence. To them, bedtime is the perfect opportunity for this. The time they go to bed is for you to decide, so don’t negotiate with them on this. Let them have a say in other aspects of bedtime, such as what pyjamas to wear, but not what time they go to bed.
Knowing how much sleep your child should get
One of the most important things you could ever do is understand how much sleep your child needs, including daytime naps, the hours they sleep each day, and hours of sleep each night. When you have a firm idea of how much they sleep, you can help them develop a regular sleeping pattern and get them to bed to have all the sleep they need. Use the guide below to help you:
|Age||Hours of Sleep Required|
|1 to 4 weeks||16 to 17 hours per day|
|1 to 4 months||Approximately 16 to 17 hours per day, with night/day sleeping cycles beginning to kick in.|
|4 months to 1 year||14 to 15 hours of sleep per day, with up to 3 naps during the day and evening and, generally, sleeping through the night.|
|1 to 3 years||12 to 14 hours of sleep, although often not getting as much because of parents’ schedules or the schedules of older children in the house.|
|3 to 6 years||Approximately 11 to 12 hours, but may still require a short nap during the daytime.|
|7 to 12 years||10 to 12 hours of sleep per night, although often they only get around 9 to 10 hours.|
|13 to 18 years||8 to 10 hours per night, but rarely get this due to homework and other activities encroaching upon their sleeping schedule.|
A solid awareness of how much sleep your child should be getting will help you form the right strategy for organising your child’s bedtime.
Putting your child(ren) to bed
Putting your children to bed is a chance to bond with them while also encouraging your child(ren) to get the rest they need to function well the next day. Creating a calm environment and getting a child into a consistent bedtime routine will ease them into the Land of Nod more smoothly and set them up for a restorative, revitalising sleep. Approach this with the steps below:
Establish a routine
You can encourage healthy sleep for your children by establishing a regular bedtime routine. Bathing the children, getting them changed into their pyjamas, making them brush their teeth, and then reading to them is a typical routine. Play some soothing music when they’re in bed, if necessary. Be sure to start the routine early enough for them to get plenty of sleep.
You’ve established the routine and set a time for bed. Now it’s time to stick to it. That may not be easy, depending on your schedule as a parent, but consistency is the key, so follow the routine as closely as possible. This is the time when toddlers might start climbing out of bed, and slightly older children will try to negotiate to stay up for a little longer. Stick to your guns.
Keep evenings peaceful
When your child changes into their pyjamas, you can do the same to create a more relaxed environment that suggests winding down. Dim the lights and turn off all electronic devices such as the TV, tablets, and mobile phones an hour or more before bedtime. They make it harder for children to fall asleep.
Set the bedroom up for sleep
The more appealing you can make the room look, the better, so set the child’s bedroom up for sleep. Make sure the bed is nice and comfortable, with plenty of pillows and a good children’s mattress, and generally so irresistible that they can’t wait to get into bed! For toddlers and younger children, a themed bed could also work well in this regard.
Close the curtains, dim any lights and ensure that the bedroom is just the right temperature for allowing the child to sleep, which should be between 18 and 22ºC. Since you’re creating optimal sleep conditions, remove TVs, tablets, and any other electronics or distractions.
Getting your child to sleep alone
There’s some debate about co-sleeping and the age at which children should sleep in their own bed. Although many children transition from a cot or their parents’ bed to their own bed between 2 and 3½ years, it all depends on your own parenting style. Some will stay in their parents’ bed until as late as 4 years old. Either way, when it’s time to make that transition, the child isn’t going to go along with it magically, so here’s how to approach the situation:
Explain to the child what’s going to happen
Parents may find it hard to leave their child alone, but they need rest, not their parents with them. Explain to your child what’s going to happen and why. They need to understand your reasoning. If they don’t, they won’t cooperate as readily and will feel as if you’ve abandoned them. Tell them that sleep is important for them to grow healthy and strong and that parents have to get their sleep and rest, too.
Establish a sense of security
A lot of children hate the dark. They think a monster could be lurking in the wardrobe and just waiting to gobble them up the minute you turn the light out. Your presence in their bedroom may soothe the child, but you can’t stay there forever, which is why a doll, teddy bear, blanket, or other transitional objects can provide them with comfort as they settle down to sleep.
Move to a chair (and start moving further away)
If you lie next to your child while putting them to bed, stop and switch to a chair. Should they raise any objections, let them know that you feel more comfortable in the chair. Be reassuring, but also be firm. Gradually, it would help if you moved further and further away from the bed. Take a small break to go to the toilet and allow the child to get used to very short absences. Eventually, move the chair outside of the door, letting them know you’re still there but remaining firm. If they get up, tell them to get back to bed.
Take things slowly
Your child will get out of bed, and you’ll have to put them back in it. You can be sure of that, so when you lead them back to their bed, let them know you’ll be back in shortly to check they’re okay. Start with a short interval of 10 minutes so that you’re not away too long and prevent them from getting anxious, but neither are you leaving too little time for them to fall asleep. Increase the time between visits back to the child’s bedroom gradually.
Don’t lose your temper if they appear at your bed when they should be in their own one, or they wander into the living room while you’re watching TV. Ultimately, you’re trying to break a long-term routine for them, and it’s not going to happen overnight, so keep calm. Remind them of the agreement by saying something like, ‘Do you remember that we said you’d sleep in your bed tonight? Go and get yourself back in there, and I’ll check in on you shortly.’ Keep to your word, even if you’re feeling tired.
Helping them on their way
When it comes to getting your children to sleep, it’s not all about following a routine or engaging in a battle of wills with your child(ren). There are some simple extra measures you can take to help your child get to sleep at night.
Make sure your kids are active
It may be easier to entertain your children by letting them watch cartoons and movies all day, but they need to be active, which means you should encourage them to get some exercise. Take them out to a park to play football or to just run around and play. Avoid this any less than three hours before bedtime because the exercise could stimulate them and make it harder for them to sleep.
Keep them away from caffeine and heavy meals before bed
Three is the magic number! A lot of children love soft drinks and would drink them all day if they could! All that sugar and caffeine will place a job on your hands when it comes to getting them to bed. Snacks are fine before bedtime, but they should be light, healthy snacks such as fruit.
Watch out for sleep disorders
Be vigilant of your child(ren)’s sleep patterns and behaviours at night and during the day. If you’ve established a suitable routine and tailored it to their needs, but they’re still not getting enough sleep, they may have a sleep disorder. Chronic tiredness during the day, difficulty concentrating, and behavioural problems are all symptoms that indicate this could be the case, so if you observe them in your child, you should consult a doctor for advice.
Helping your child to sleep is a balance between establishing the right conditions, understanding their sleep needs, exercising discipline, and being aware of any reasons why they might not be sleeping as they should. Get ready for them to stall and negotiate bedtimes, as well as for the odd frustration or two when you think you’ve finally got them down for the night, and carry on regardless. Once they get used to the way things will be, they’ll start to cooperate, and you’ll look forward to bedtimes rather than dread them!