What do couples’ sleeping positions reveal about relationships?

Sleeping Positions: What They Say About Your Relationship
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couples sleeping positions

  1. You climb into bed. You close your eyes.
  2. Your partner climbs in and does the same.

Neither of you thinks about your sleeping position. You get on with taking your night’s rest. Maybe you should pay more attention to it, however, because your sleeping positions(s) could be saying much more about your relationship than you realise.

Following psychologist Corinne Sweet’s study on behalf of bed retailer Dreams, experts have commented on some common sleeping positions. Here’s what certain positions might be telling you:

The Spoon

Who doesn’t like a cosy spoon? This suggests trust and that one partner is protective over the other. The position is prevalent when couples have just gotten together. As the relationship matures, it may transform into the ‘loose spoon,’ in which the position is the same, but there’s a slight distance between the two partners. The trust is still there, but each partner is just looking to get into the best position comfortable for the best night’s sleep.

Intertwined but separating later

It’s a sign the relationship is in good health. There’s attention but also independence. You’re reaching a compromise, each partner satisfying the other’s emotional demands and giving them some space. If the couple stays intertwined all night, it’s a warning that the partners might be growing too emotionally dependent on each other (if they haven’t already done so). Sleeping back to back and not touching is a sign of a secure relationship.

What couples sleeping positions reveal about relationships.
Couple intertwined in a loving embrace.

Nuzzling up

Do you go to sleep with your partner’s arm wrapped around you and your head nuzzled against their chest? It’s one of the sweetest positions and is common in couples who have just gotten together or are rekindling their relationship. There’s a significant amount of trust, plus a real sense of protection. The two feel close.

What couples sleeping positions reveal about relationships.

Facing but not touching

Beware if this is happening. Your relationship might need a bit of work, although this might not be apparent when you’re awake. It’s a sign the partners have a real need for intimacy and communication and an emotionally demanding relationship. Even though they may be sleeping, the partners still want more.

Back to back and touching

How comfortable are you with your partner? How satisfied are they with you? Are you sleeping back to back and touching? If you are, it’s a sign you’re feeling relaxed around each other. This position is a little cute, and it’s common in newer couples. 

Hogging the bed

If one partner is hogging the bed, sprawled across in a starfish-like position, this is a screaming red flag. It suggests that they’re selfish. Not only are they dominating the bed, but also (potentially) the relationship. Take note of whether your partner sleeps close(r) to the headboard. If they do, this is a sign of potential dominance. Consider having a chat about what’s going on so you can address any toxicity in the relationship. 

These are expert interpretations and how things may or may not be amiss in your relationship based on the sleeping position. Ask your partner if you think something’s wrong and talk things through calmly. Don’t rush in with all guns blazing. No position will feel comfortable; otherwise.

What is the most common sleeping position?

  1. On your back

Sleeping on your back protects your spine and can help with hip and knee pain. Gravity keeps your body in alignment over your spine, reducing pressure on your back and joints, especially if you place a pillow under your knees. If you suffer from swollen feet, place a pillow under your feet to reduce swelling. Your body gets good support from your mattress sleeping on your back.

If you have trouble breathing, sleeping on your back can worsen, and snoring can occur. Also, if you suffer from back pain, ensure you have a good supportive mattress.

2. On your side

If you suffer from back pain, this position may help as it’s suitable for spine alignment, helping relieve back pain, and sleeping with a pillow between your knees can help treat hip and knee problems. Sleeping in this position can help your breathing and limit the effects of snoring. It is also good if you suffer from digestion problems and can reduce heartburn.

A drawback of sleeping on your side is that it can increase shoulder pain, as the shoulder can collapse into the mattress and up towards your neck, causing pain the following morning. To help reduce these side effects, use a firm mattress and pillow and keep your head straight in line with your shoulders.

3. On your stomach

The only position for your neck is to not be in an unhealthy forward curve. This position helps reduce snoring as it eliminates any obstructions in the airway. If your mattress is hard, pop a pillow under your stomach, and you will sleep with a properly aligned spine, allowing better oxygen distribution throughout your body, heart, and brain. For anyone who suffers from pains in their stomach, especially cramps, this is an excellent position to help soothe the pain.

The downfall of sleeping on your stomach is that it can cause neck and back pain and add a lot of strain to your muscle and joints.

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