Sleep Talk Blog, Health & Wellbeing
Why More UK Couples Are Choosing to Sleep in Separate Beds (2025 Study)
Oct
Table of Contents
Something interesting is happening in bedrooms across the UK. More couples than ever are choosing to sleep in separate beds, and the numbers might surprise you. One in five couples now sleep in separate rooms, with about two-thirds doing so every single night.
Your grandparents might raise an eyebrow, but this growing trend is turning traditional ideas about shared beds on their head.
Why the shift? Sleep loss tops the list. More than 40% of people who share a bed with their partner say sleep issues have made them question their relationship. But here's where it gets interesting – many couples discover that separate bedrooms actually strengthen their bond rather than weaken it.
The results speak for themselves. 60% of those sleeping separately feel less stressed, and 27% rate their relationship as "amazing" after making the switch. Snoring, restlessness, different sleep preferences, and clashing schedules create the kind of bedtime frustration that can spill into daytime tensions.
So what's really behind this bedroom revolution? This guide explores the latest 2025 study on UK couples' sleeping habits, why separate bedrooms are becoming the new normal, how sleeping apart affects your relationship, and practical ways to stay connected while getting the quality rest you both deserve.
What the 2025 Study Reveals About UK Couples
The numbers don't lie. Approximately five million UK adults (16%) in relationships now choose to sleep in separate rooms to their partners. That's nearly one in six British couples who live together. And when they make the switch, they go all the way – 89% opt for completely separate rooms rather than just separate beds.
How many couples sleep in separate beds
This isn't just a small blip on the radar. The shift toward separate sleeping has gained serious momentum over recent years. We've seen the rate of separate sleeping roughly double since 2009, when less than one couple in ten (7%) reported having separate beds.
Today? One in four UK couples have tried sleeping apart to improve their rest. And once they start, they tend to stick with it. 85% of those who sleep separately have maintained this arrangement for longer than a year, with over a third (38%) sleeping apart for more than five years.
Trends across age groups and regions
Age makes a difference when it comes to bedroom arrangements. Separate sleeping is most common among older couples, with 23% of those over 55 sleeping separately compared to just 10% of couples aged 18-34. A quarter of retired people say they have separate beds.
Where you live matters too. Northern Ireland leads the charge with 21% of couples preferring separate beds – considerably higher than the UK average of 12%.
Meanwhile, couples in Scotland (9%) and the South East (9%) are least likely to sleep apart.
The Midlands shows a stronger preference for separate sleeping arrangements at 19%.
Why the numbers are rising
Sleep disturbance drives this trend more than anything else. Couples who share a bed lose approximately 2.5 nights of sleep per week because their partner disturbs them. The biggest sleep thieves? Snoring takes the top spot at 71%, followed by bathroom visits (60%), and tossing and turning (60%).
The payoff is worth it. 82% of those sleeping separately report improved sleep quality. Your living situation affects your choices too – couples without children (17%) are more than twice as likely to sleep independently compared to those with two children (8%).
This trend is even changing how couples house-hunt, with 12% prioritising properties with additional bedrooms specifically for separate sleeping arrangements.
Why Couples Are Choosing Separate Bedrooms
Sleep experts are changing their tune about separate bedrooms. What was once seen as a red flag for relationships is now recognised as a smart solution for couples with clashing sleep needs. This arrangement, often called "sleep divorce," tackles practical problems rather than relationship ones.
Sleep quality and health benefits
Your sleep affects everything from your heart to your mood. Poor sleep connects to serious health issues including heart disease, stroke, depression, diabetes, and obesity. That's why couples are putting quality rest first.
The numbers tell the story. People sleeping separately gain around 37 extra minutes of sleep each night. Even better, 60% of solo sleepers rate their rest as "good" or "amazing" compared to just 51% of bed-sharers.
Well-rested partners make better partners. When you've had proper sleep, you communicate more clearly, stay patient longer, and feel more satisfied with your relationship.
Snoring, restlessness, and different schedules
Let's talk about the main sleep stealers. Snoring tops the list at 71%, followed by bathroom trips at 60%, and restless tossing and turning, also 60%.
Sleep disorders like sleep apnea or night terrors can turn bedtime into a nightmare for both partners. Then there's the preference problem – one person loves falling asleep to soft music whilst the other needs complete silence and darkness.
Millennials face unique challenges with 63% blaming conflicting schedules for their separate sleeping choice. Parents know the struggle too, as little ones can leave both adults completely drained from interrupted nights.
Living together but separate bedrooms: a practical choice
Here's what might surprise you – separate bedrooms often make relationships stronger, not weaker. Nearly half (48%) of couples sleeping apart say their relationship improved, with 28% believing it actually saved their partnership.
The stress relief is real. 60% of separate sleepers feel less stressed during their day. Rather than seeing this as giving up, smart couples view it as creating personalised sleep sanctuaries.
Some couples sleep together on weekends but apart during busy weekdays. This thoughtful approach stops the resentment that builds up after years of disturbed sleep. Your relationship deserves better than grumpy mornings and bedtime battles.
The Emotional and Relationship Impact
But what about the emotional side of things? Many couples worry about the feelings behind sleeping separately. The research might put your mind at ease – nearly half (48%) of couples who sleep apart report their relationship has actually improved, with 28% believing it saved their relationship entirely.
Does sleeping apart affect intimacy?
Your shared bed has always meant connection, comfort, and security. Yet sleep-deprived couples experience more conflicts, less patience, and reduced empathy. There's even a gender twist – men who sleep poorly say their relationship suffers the next day, whilst for women, relationship troubles lead to poorer sleep for both partners.
Lack of kissing in a relationship: is it related?
Those bedtime routines with goodnight kisses might need some tweaking. But couples sleeping separately aren't necessarily less affectionate – they just need to be more deliberate about creating opportunities for physical closeness. Regular conversations about what's working become essential.
How couples sleep and stay connected
Smart couples find creative ways to maintain their bond:
- Scheduling intimate time before heading to separate rooms
- Creating morning rituals like sharing coffee together
- Staying connected through bedtime video calls
Even mismatched sleep patterns (night owls versus early birds) work when couples have good problem-solving skills. Sleep expert Dr. Troxel puts it perfectly: "Think of it not as filing for sleep divorce but as forging a sleep alliance".
Making It Work: Communication and Connection
So you've decided separate sleeping might work for your relationship. Good choice. But here's the thing – success depends entirely on how you handle the conversation and keep your connection strong.
Nearly half (48%) of couples who sleep separately report better relationships, but it's not automatic. You'll need to put in the work.
Setting expectations and boundaries
Timing matters when you're bringing up separate bedrooms. Don't wait until you're both frustrated at 2am because of snoring. Pick a relaxed moment when you're both well-rested and calm.
Frame it right. Instead of "I can't stand sleeping with you anymore," try "Let's experiment with sleeping separately to see if we both sleep better." Position it as a health choice, not a relationship problem.
You'll want to establish some ground rules from the start:
- Who sleeps where and when
- How you'll reconnect during the day
- Regular check-ins to see how it's going
- Weekend arrangements or special occasions
Think of it as gathering data rather than making a permanent decision. This takes the pressure off and lets you both see what actually works.
Creating shared routines outside the bedroom
Here's where you need to be intentional. Separate bedrooms mean you'll miss those natural connection moments, so you'll need to create new ones.
Morning coffee together works wonders. Evening walks. Cuddling on the sofa whilst watching television. Even a quick kiss goodnight before heading to your separate rooms.
Some couples schedule intimacy before separating for sleep. Others have morning rituals that start the day with connection. Date nights become more important than ever – they're your dedicated relationship time.
The key? Don't leave connection to chance. Make it part of your routine.
When to seek professional help
Sometimes separate sleeping arrangements can mask bigger relationship issues. Watch out for warning signs that suggest you might need professional support.
If resentment starts building, or one of you feels rejected by the arrangement, it's time to talk to someone. Same goes if you're starting to feel more like flatmates than partners, or if you're using separate beds to avoid dealing with other relationship problems.
Couples therapy provides neutral ground to work through these concerns. Online options make it more convenient than ever, and many couples find it helpful even just for a few sessions to get on the right track.
Remember, asking for help isn't admitting failure – it's protecting your relationship.
Conclusion
Separate sleeping arrangements aren't about relationship failure – they're about relationship care. More British couples are discovering what sleep experts have known for years: quality rest can actually bring you closer together, not push you apart.
Your sleep matters. Your relationship matters. And sometimes, the best way to protect both is to create your own personal sleep sanctuary whilst maintaining the emotional connection that brought you together in the first place.
The evidence speaks for itself, but every relationship is unique. What works for your neighbours might not work for you, and that's perfectly fine. The key is honest conversation with your partner about what you both need to feel rested, respected, and connected.
Don't let cultural expectations dictate your bedroom arrangements. If you're both lying awake, frustrated by snoring or different sleep schedules, it might be time for a practical conversation about separate bedrooms. Remember, you're not giving up on your relationship – you're investing in it.
For couples considering this change, start with open discussions about expectations. Create intentional moments for connection outside the bedroom. And don't forget that this doesn't have to be all-or-nothing – some couples sleep separately during the week but together on weekends.
The bottom line? Whether you share a bed or sleep apart, what matters most is that you both wake up feeling rested and ready to show up as your best selves in your relationship. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is give each other the gift of a good night's sleep.
Your bedroom should work for you, not against you. And if that means separate rooms, you're in excellent company.
Key Takeaways
The 2025 study reveals a significant shift in UK couples' sleeping habits, with practical benefits that challenge traditional relationship norms:
• One in five UK couples now sleep separately, with 89% choosing completely separate rooms rather than just separate beds
• Sleep quality dramatically improves with separate arrangements - couples gain 37 extra minutes of sleep nightly and report better overall health
• Relationships often strengthen rather than weaken, with 48% of couples reporting improved partnerships after sleeping apart
• Communication and intentional connection rituals outside the bedroom are essential for maintaining intimacy whilst sleeping separately
• The trend is driven by practical health concerns like snoring (71%) and restlessness (60%) rather than relationship problems
This growing movement suggests that prioritising quality sleep can actually enhance relationship satisfaction, challenging the notion that shared beds are essential for romantic connection.
FAQs
Q1. Why are more UK couples choosing to sleep in separate beds? Many UK couples are opting for separate sleeping arrangements to improve sleep quality, address issues like snoring or restlessness, and accommodate different schedules. This trend has been shown to benefit both individual health and relationship satisfaction.
Q2. Does sleeping separately affect intimacy in a relationship? Contrary to common belief, sleeping separately doesn't necessarily harm intimacy. Many couples report improved relationships due to better sleep quality. However, it's important to maintain connection through intentional moments of closeness and regular communication.
Q3. How common is it for UK couples to sleep in separate beds? According to the 2025 study, approximately one in six British couples who live together now choose to sleep in separate rooms. This trend has nearly doubled since 2009, with variations across different age groups and regions.
Q4. What are the main reasons couples choose to sleep separately? The primary reasons include snoring, bathroom visits during the night, restlessness, different sleep schedules, and varying preferences for sleep environments. Many couples find that addressing these issues through separate sleeping arrangements leads to better overall sleep quality.
Q5. How can couples maintain a strong relationship while sleeping separately? Couples can maintain a strong connection by setting clear expectations, creating shared routines outside the bedroom, scheduling intimate time together, and having regular check-ins about their arrangement. Open communication and intentional efforts to stay connected are key to making separate sleeping arrangements work.